As of late. A much needed update.

I shaved my head in September.

One of my guys passed away at work.

Im applying for school.

I am having trouble keeping in contact with my brother and sister.

My brother kenny lived with me momentarily only to be thrown back in prison.

Im reading more books now.

I have my eyes on a new guitar.

(This is thee first time I have fallen in love with a guitar)

Im not in love with anyone though.

I have been splurging on makeup and new nail polish every paycheck.

I have been making alot of indian food.

I have thought about dieting.

I want to loose 40lbs.

I ate sushi for the first time in almost a year last weekend.

I still smoke cigarrettes.

I miss my best friends.

Im afraid this post is rather bland.

Im working hard

I realize it has been a very long time since I updated my blog.... whoops. I am super busy with things like work and Sturgis (haha :D) Im finally comfortable with my job... I think. Actually just when I get comfy and cozy something crazy happens that I don't know how to handle. Im actually in the work facillity right about now. I work for a place called lifequest in a home with five guys that need assistance. Im learning their language which was nothing but meaningless noise to me a couple months ago. For example:

Shiken= Chicken
Puper dog= Puppy dog
DeeDa=Kayla
Frishun=Fishing
Lellow=yellow
Puper ball=Basketball
Yesh=yes
ooo=hoop
Tooday=Tuesday
Get her= Get it

Ha ha seems easy to figure out...but most words are like this. I wouldn't have it any other way. I have to work hard to figure out the likes and dislikes of my guys. Smiles become very rewarding. Dancing on the way to places makes the silent guy laugh. Blowing bubbles outside is simple but when they catch one its like they won an award. My guys can shoot a basketball better then me any day. Pizza is a favorite food. Sometimes they get lazy and make me tie their shoes. They all like being tucked into bed. If I wink and smile at one of the guys he will do just about anything I ask him. One of them claims to hate "shiken" but whenever I make it he always wants seconds. They all like different temperatures of water for their shower. They all like pie. :D

So there you have it.
Not really an update on my life but an update on my job. Sounds easy... Sounds fun... I will have you know it has its rewards and downfalls. My job is extremely personal. Extremely difficult, and requirs a good deal of good judgement, patience, and understanding.

P.S...
You know how Im super messy??? AHAHA My job requires me to be constantly cleaning... oh the irony... I cant take care of myself, but 5 guys... for sure. :)

Thee single best thing to happen in my life.

Where to begin.

I have Three brothers. At least thats what I tell the average Joe shmoe that asks me. Kenny, Jacob, and Erin. What the average Joe Shmoe doesn't know is that I have an older sister, and an older brother. See my mother had my brother and sister before she was even 17 and they were taken by the state. (Long story that doesn't matter now, at least to anyone but me or my family) I have always been told about my brother and sister since I was a little girl, and have always had the strong desire to know them. I remember when they turned 18 Mom would talk about how they now had access to her files, and if they wanted to, they could find her. I remember dreaming about my sisters voice, about my brothers smile. I wondered what they would look like. Would my sister look like me. Does my brother make people laugh. Are they creative? So many questions that I honestly never ever dreamed would be answered. About a year ago I took a trip to Mexico, and it opened up my eyes. So many girls there became my sister. So many guys became my brother. I knew then that I would find my brother and sister. Now grantid, I did try to find them via the great internet when I was young. I knew their birth names, but that was about it. I would occasionally write to different shows or people asking them to help me find my brother and sister, ect but now I was determined. I got their birth places, their full birth names, and the name of their dad. I set up a myspace account, thinking maybe they new their birth names and had done the same. I wrote the Dr. Phil show, Oprah, and Maury. (I know what your thinking haha but a girl has to start somewhere). I even tried finding there dad to see if he had their social security numbers. Nothing. Goose Egg. Zero. Oh well, I figured this would be a search that I would have to embark on for the rest of my life.

Last saturday, 11 am

Kenny shows up at my door banging on it all crazyily. I was woken up, and cranky and wondering what the heck he would want from me. He tells me your brother Erin is on the phone. I have an older brother named Erin and I haven't talked to him in about 6 months so I got really excited, and snatched the phone up quick. I say, "hey dude whats up?" and, "dude where the heck do you live now?" and, "dude we need to hang out." he answers all my questions, and then Kenny says, "no, Its your brother Aaron." I then realized the voice was a little different, but I didn't get it right away. Suddenly it clicked in my head. My brother, born Randy Maxwell, was on the phone with me. His name? Aaron. I looked at my brother Kenny and broke down crying. I talked and cried for an hour. I don't remember what was said. I don't really care. Can you believe it? Aaron found Kenny on facebook (I love facebook now lol) and took a shot in the dark and called him. I soon got my sisters phone number, and called her right away. Again, lots of crying. Tears of joy, talking for hours, phone swapping. I don't remember those phone conversations. I don't need to. My sister and brother, born in the South, and the North, live in, Souix Falls Sd. An hour from me. Now I always dreamed of this moment. The moment of contact. The first time I hear a voice. I never dreamed I would be blessed enough to be close to where they were. I never dreamed the day I talked to my sister for the first time, that I would meet her.

Me and Kenny went out to lunch with Brianne that afternoon.

Im still pinching myself.

This weekend, I will meet my brother.

This weekend, my mom will meet her children and grandchildren.

Believe, and anything you dream is possible.

things as of late

Im still looking for a job which is really annoying.

Im hoping to work at this cute little clothing store, and increase my closet size.

I have a significant other type person in my life right now, but Im not attached as I usually would be. Cause love happens when it does, no sense in rushing things, besides Im gonna be making alot of money when I graduate, so whoever Im with it better not be no sugar mamma deal.

Im so so excited to be going to school in August, whats the deal with schools starting in august?

haha oh well I suppose.

I still am without phone, but am growing ever so accustomed to this lack of luxery.

I am renting a house from my dad!!! whoot whoot which is awesome cause I get to be close to my family.

(they went out of town today so Im stealing internet, and last nights hot dish)

My relationship with God is a trial day by day.

I find myself hungry again.

Its weird though not being surrounded by my core of Godly people.

I have busted out my piano, and am excited to learn praise and worship songs, filtered in between with Imogen heap, and paul simon, and Nirvana songs. :) :)

I love love love love love my new house though.

Im planting flowers as soon as I can.

Well maybe tommorrow I will be able to post something else,

Sorry this is so random.

OOOOOooo I am excited to say Im reading again though.

I read 133 pages last night and this morning.

I also organized my beads and painting supplies.

So projects are underway.

The whats and who's of not being able to sleep

Last night,

I definatly couldn't fall asleep.

I found myself tripping over the events of this past year.

I found myself missing people, and wondering if they miss me.

I found myself wondering alot.

Wondering is a terrible habit.

It accomplishes nothing, and yet I insist on doing it all the time.

I wonder if he likes me?

I wonder if she is mad at me?

All these stupid trivial meaningless wonderings.

I have decided if I cannot find the answer out myself,

If I am to scared to find out the answer to all my wonderings,

That they are nothing to loose sleep over.

I lost sleep last night for sure.

I worry too much.

Last night I wondered if the events of the last year will change my life forever.

Well duh, events change everything.

Who you meet, who you lose, where you go.

I have met and lost amazing people this year.

I have gone amazing places.

I will not loose sleep wondering anymore.

Kinda silly.

I can still wonder,

It's just part of daydreaming.